LJ Interests meme results

1. underwater basket weaving.:
   Well...... I dont know if you've ever tried underwater basket weaving. But believe me, its better than sex.
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Taylor can no longer watch Mandy Moore movies, because they make Taylor fall in love with Mandy Moore. Which is annoying, because Mandy Moore will probably never fall in love with Taylor.

I am by no means a wise man. I am a fool, and the first to admit it. But one thing I have learned in my short life, is this. All the countries, all the states, and all the citys on the world, are the same. Just settlements of people. Just buildings that will eventually crumble. Just landmarks that were there before us, and will be there after us. What makes any of these places really spectacular are the people you share them with. I love where I am. I can't think of anywhere else in the world where I would be happier. I have my family, and I have my friends. Those two things could keep me here forever. But I fear they won't. People, will inevitably leave. Everytime one of these people does, it makes this place seem a little less grand. I hope all of you will stay, and we can share this place, until we pass.

This post was inspired by Carlee's recent post about emo. These are they lyrics from my favorite song as of late. It's by Sayanything, check it out.


Admit it!
Despite your pseudo-bohemian appearance
And vaguely leftist doctrine of beliefs
You know nothing about art or sex
That you couldn�t read in any trendy New York underground fashion magazine
Prototypical non-conformist
You are a vacuous soldier of the thrift store Gestapo
You adhere to a set of standards and tastes
That appear to be determined by an unseen panel of hipster judges (bullshit)
Giving a thumbs up or thumbs down to incoming and outgoing trends and styles of music and art
Go analog baby, you�re so post-modern
You�re diving face forward into a antiquated path
It�s disgusting, its offensive, don�t stick your nose up at me

Yeah, what do you have to say for yourself
Whoah, whoah, whoah, whoah
Yeah, what do you have to say for yourself
Whoah, whoah, whoah, whoah

You spend your time sitting in circles with your friends
Pontificating to each other
Forever competing for that one moment of self-aggrandizing glory
In which you hog the intellectual spotlight
Holding dominion over the entire shallow pointless conversation
Oh, we�re not worthy
When you walk by a group of quote-unquote normal people
You chuckle to yourself patting yourself on the back as you scoff
It's the same superiority complex
Shared by the high school jocks who made your life a living hell
And makes you a slave to the competitive capitalist dogma
You spend every moment of your waking life bitching about

Yeah, what do you have to say for yourself
Whoah, whoah, whoah, whoah
And I say yeah, what do you have to say for yourself
Whoah, whoah, whoah, whoah

Cause I�m proud of my life and the things that I have done
Proud of myself and the loner I�ve become
You�re free to whine, it will not get you far
I do just fine, my car and my guitar

Proud of my life and the things that I have done
Proud of myself and the loner I�ve become
You�re free to whine, it will not get you far
I do just fine, my car and my guitar, yeah

Well let me tell you this, I am shamelessly self-involved
I spend hours in front of the mirror, making my hair elegantly disheveled
I worry about how this album will sell
Because I believe it will determine the amount of sex I will have in the future
I self medicate with drugs and alcohol to treat my extreme social anxiety

You are a faker (admit it)
You are a fraud (admit it)
Yeah, you�re living a lie (hey) living a lie (hey) you�re life is living a lie
You don�t impress me (admit it)
You don�t intimidate me (admit it)
Why don�t you bow down, get on the ground, walk this fucking plank (yeah!)

Yeah, what do you have to say for yourself
Whoah, whoah, whoah, whoah
And I say yeah (what do you..)

Proud of my life and the things that I have done
Proud of myself and the loner I�ve become
You�re free to whine, it will not get you far
I do just fine, my car and my..
Guitar, guitar go!

I drift drift drift drift drift yeah
I drift drift drift drift drift yeah oh

And I am done with this
I wanna taste the breeze of every great city
My car and my guitar
My car and my guitar
So you'll come to be, made of these, urgent unfulfilled
Oh no no no no no
When I'm dead I'll rest
When I'm dead I'll rest way still
When I'm dead I'll rest, I'll rest
When I'm dead I'll rest, I'll rest
When I'm dead I'll rest, I'll rest
When I'm dead I'll rest, I'll rest

Uhhhhhhh, biatch. (My addition.)

Today was one of those days, that you just hate. I didn't get to sleep, I had stuff on my mind, I had people pissed off at me. And the worst part is they were rightfully pissed off. Days like this make you forget what it's like to feel good. Even going and laying in bed until I fall asleep doesn't sound the least bit appealing. So sorry to those who I pissed off. All I can do is promise to try not to make the same mistakes.
T-Bag

I swear she reads this, and than gives me news of her life accordingly. They finally broke up, and she says hopefully we'll be able to actually see eachother some. I'm like a damn puppet. Could I be any more lame? Seriously..........

Sometimes in life you have to just cut your losses and move on. Today I began the process of forcibly falling out of love.

Last night was awesome, not a single poor performer. Not to mention Modest Mouse closed with Dramamine, which they did not play last time. It was great to have most of the group together. Thank you Andy, Annie, Jessie, Zac, Carlee, Brian, Kathleen, Ryan, and Jessica for sharing this most excellent evening with me.

"You see my kind of loyalty was loyalty to one's country, not to it's institutions or its officeholders. The country is the real thing, the substantial thing, the eternal thing; it is the thing to watch over, and care for, and be loyal to; institutions are extraneous, they are its mere clothing, and clothing can wear out, become ragged, cease to be comfortable, cease to protect the body from winter, disease, and death. To be loyal to rags, to shout for rags, to worship rags, to die for rags -- that is a loyalty of unreason, it is pure animal; it belongs to monarchy, was invented by monarchy; let monarchy keep it. I was from Connecticut, whos Constitution declares "that all political power is inherent in the people, and all free governments are founded on their authority and instituted for their benefit; and that they have at all times an undeniable and indefeasible right to alter their form of government in such a manner as they think expedient."
Mark Twain was often accused of being un-patriotic for his dissenting views on the Philippines war. Much like anyone who criticizes our current administration or the war is a traitor.
Also. what is it with the right placing no value on human life? I was watching CSPAN or something the other morning, and that whore Anne Coulter was on. She made a comment about how she wouldn't be sad if we "Accidentally dropped a bomb on Saudi Arabia or any other middle eastern country." I'm sure she holds her life to be valuable, why is anyone elses less valuable than hers? It seems to be the way the entire Right thinks. Its ok to send our soldiers to war to die for no reason. And if you try arguing that this war is with good reason, your a fool, and you should seriously rethink it, because the only thing happening over there is death. And some stupid fucking election that doesn't mean shit in reality. The forced democracy of another country isn't worth the life of one innocent person. I hope someday we will have a decent, honest leader, who places the problems of his own people over lining his pocketbook with war contracts and oil.

She and I just talked. It started out as nothing out of the normal. "Hey, how are you?" She asked. "Doing good, how about you?". Formalities were exchanged, Then the conversation went beyond the surface. We talked about love, how we both are eager to find that one person that you will be with forever. Neither of us want to get married anytime soon. We just want our lives to settle. We talked about passion, and spirituality. We talked about how coincidental it was that the first time we saw eachother in 8 months was on the date we met for the very first time. January 27th.I think somewhere in this a connection was re-established. I wanted to tell her how from the beginning, I knew she was the girl for me, and that I still feel this way. I wanted to tell her everything i've ever felt for her. But I didn't. I didn't want to ruin such a great conversation with such an awkward comment. She and He are done. They've decided it won't work. I could tell something wasn't right about them when I saw her last week. Shes going to try to go to the Modest Mouse show with all of us. I hope all of you get to meet her. I've always wanted her to spend an evening with me and my friends. You can learn alot about a person by being with them, and the people that mean the most to them in the world. I know it's nothing to get my hopes up about. But right now, I am happy.

So I found out from a co-worker today that yet another one of my ex-girl friends is getting married. That makes 4, and im not even 20 years old yet! What the hell is wrong with these people? Not one of them made it past 19 either, they were all married(or are going to be) before the age of 20. Better yet, none of them knew their fiance for more than a year before getting engaged. Its pretty apparent why the divorce rate in the church is almost the same as out of the church. Don't people value their youth anymore? Or at least believe in logic? You can not get to know a person enough in a year. Especially if you're making the decision to have them as your partner not just for life, but for eternity. What chaps my ass even more is that the church doesn't even seem to discourage this very much. Most guys are expected to get married as sson as they get off their mission. It doesn't matter to whom. And young women are almost expected to marry the first return missionary they meet. I'm not saying that this is the church's fault. I should specify that it is mormon culture that is putting all the pressure on these kids to get married. The church itself promotes making wise, educated decisions. But I also don't see anyone making it a point to let these people know that they shouldn't feel pressured. But now i'm just rambling and im sure ive lost everyones interest by now. Goodbye.

This girl just does it to me.
I dont talk to her often, but when I do it is so sweet. I recieved a text message from her about an hour ago here at work(yes i am at work, having a laptop totally kicks ass). I suggested we just talk because text messaging is for conversation with out content. So she called me, and I immediately got butterflies in my stomach. The sound of her voice comforted my soul. Her laugh infected me and spread through my body filling me with joy. Our discussion of music was beautiful. We are always on the exact same level when it comes down to it. Never an argument. Just complete concert of thought. We talked of the future, and where we will be. Shes moving from American Fork to Salt Lake to go to school. Just that much closer. God what I would give to see her again. Or even to touch her again. To kiss her again. That would be heaven on earth. She is the most amazing woman I have ever known. Damn these constraints. Damn Myles for having what I want. If I hadn't decided to go to California for the summer, which didn't even work out, would things be different. If I had lived closer to her would things be different? Am I only in love with her because I absolutely can not have her? Damn regret. Damn this lack of sleep. Damn this inability to let go of the past. Damn this hair convering my eyes. I can't see, I need a haircut. Damn this little keyboard. Damn the western the client I am monitoring is watching in the next room. Damn it all.

"If all thats left is duty. Im falling on my sword. At least then, I would not serve an unseen distant lord."

What ever happened to the days when leaders had once fought in fierce battles and lead noble lives? Im sure one who had actually fought a war would actually think about sending the children of his countrymen off to war to die. Especially if the war has no purpose.
Why doesnt W. go to Iraq and finish out his time in the service he never did. I pray that somehow this war will end. Peace is infinitely better than war.

i have a girl on my mind, and i cant seem to shake her. every time i am taken back by a girl i meet, or a girl i see, i realize the only reason im so blown away is the similarities that they share with this girl. i see her smile and bits of her personality every day and today i realized i am in love with her. i dont know where this leaves me, i guess just sitting here in front of the computer screen with my heart palpatating at the thought. maybe our paths will cross again. i will pray that they do.

so here we are. fall is upon us. something about the chill i felt as i stepped outside this morning made me decide to update for the first time in months. life is good right now. ive got a nice lady friend, an awesome group of friends, a good job, and yet i still get these feelings of depression. ive been off the medication all summer. i keep telling myself its something ill just grow out of. but i dont. my second cousin killed himself last week. he shot himself in the head on his parents back porch in the middle of the night. his mom stumbled upon his dead body after finding a note on the floor of their home. he suffered from depression his whole life, but unlike me nothing worked for him. he tried all of the medications, he had therapy, absolutely nothing worked. so i guess i should be thankful i have a way out.

The Garden State was the best movie ive seen since Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. it was totally worth only getting two hours of sleep yesterday. if any of you have a chance to watch it, do eet. anyway, the moment has passed. i got nothin else.

why am i so attracted to older women? no 22 year old woman takes a 19 year old boy seriously. it seems that older women are the only ones i am genuinely attracted to though. this presents quite the problem as im sure you can see.

so we dropped Tara off at the MTC today. I miss her already. Just over the past day ive realized how much i love her, and how much i enjoy her company. I cant wait for her first letter, just to have some communication with her. Tara played it tough the past months. She never acted nervous, she kept telling my mother "now dont be offended if i dont cry when you guys drop me off." as the orientation came to an end, me and my folks had to say goodbye, and leave out the doors at the front of the room. tara then proceeded to the exits in the back, to start serving the lord. We hugged her, and said our goodbyes, and my mom started to cry again, i started to tear up, and my father did also, which is quite the sight for me, because ive only seen him cry once. when his father died. tara said goodbye rather quickly, and turned to leave, but my father insisted on one last hug. as tara turned back, i could see the tears welling up in her eyes. i could tell she was somewhat embarassed about this, but i said nothing. its refreshing to know that everyone feels the same emotions, no matter how good they are at hiding them.
the crying was not only from the departure of my sister, but the spirit i felt while i was there. i started to cry as i thought about how much i want to do what tara was doing. its so hard to overcome self doubt. me and my mother talked for about an hour tonight about this, and about my testimony. she brought up an interesting point that i had never really thought of. in the scriptures it is said by God that if you keep his commandments, you WILL be blessed. God is bound to do this. if we are righteous, than he must bless us, and he must help us overcome what burdens us. she then told me how many times in her life her prayers had been answered because she lived righteously. the only stipulation in this contract, is that you must ask. you must get down on your knees and ask the lord to help you, and he will. i know nobody is perfect, but i dont believe i am trying as hard as i should be. from here on i am going to try harder, and hopefully things will fall into place for me.

the only girl ive ever loved is getting married. shes 19. i found out yesterday. i hadnt thought about her for months, until i heard the words "Morgan is getting married." All of the sudden, i felt my heart sink. Everything i feared when i was dating her has come to be. My greatest fears were that she would go off to college, and completely forget about me and be married within 2 years. I then realized that yes, i am STILL completely in love with her. I thought i was done, but no. All day ive had this depressed feeling. its still hard for me to think about her dating other guys, let alone marrying one. I keep waiting to get over her, but i dont, everyone says give it time. but i have, and the feeling is still there. i dont know what to do with myself. since ive been back in pocatello, all of my plans have fallen apart. im no longer going to california to work, because i got screwed. so now i have to find a job here, and a place to live outside of my folks house. i was handling it all just fine, until i heard this news. i dont even know why i care. shes the exact opposite of what i want in my life. but still, the thought of her makes my heart stop. i love her every bit as much as i did the day we ended things. i really think she was put on this earth to make my heart ache. i just want to forget her. i want to be without her. god help me, i cant take this heartache anymore. please help me.

this will be my second night of not sleeping. im seriously going to get a Tyler Durdon.

by the way, we all better be having a big ass barbeque this weekend, because everyone is going somewhere within the next few weeks, and thats gonna be wierd.

so i got a voicemail from my mother this evening. i was informed that they are going to have our dog Toddy put down this week. i love that dog. we have two, and ive always tried to show Toddy that i love him more than Scooter, because scooter always had more privileges. Toddy has been having seizures for the past few years. every time i see him have one, i think how we should just put him down, to keep him from going through that. but i love him so much, i dont want to come and not see him looking at me over the railing on the deck. Scooter always barks at me when i come home and he sees me, but as soon as Toddy sees that its me, he stops his barking and just looks at me, waiting for me to go into the back yard so he can stand sideways in front of me and i can reach down to rub his belly, like ive always done. Im going to tell my mom i dont want them to do it until i have one more chance to see him. im gonna miss him so much. its funny how the little things that you dont really notice stand out so much when you know they will soon be leaving you.

i think im just going to stop sleeping entirely.